Femme de dimanche: le 7 mai

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By: Gabriela Yareliz

It’s a gloomy day, not just because it’s French Election Day. The sky is dark. Issues with my (gas) stove and other matters have me stressed out. I will be fine.

I sat down, and I asked myself why I felt that tightness in my chest. I swear it all begins when I, for some reason, open my work email or calendar. I am not sure what is the philosophical source of my stress. Maybe, it is fear of missing something, fear of not being able to make a difference, fear of not living up to potential, fear of disappointing another– who knows. We all have weird fears that creep up on us. I certainly wish I could be more aloof.

My thoughts floated back to Thursday. It was a perfect day. I had a garden in my office (with glossy orange flowers and fluffy peonies), and one of the best dinners I have ever had, with exquisite company. (A special thanks to my family and boyfriend who went all out). It was an amazing French dinner, where I would take a bite and close my eyes and try to sort out the flavors in my mouth.

My French dinner reminded me of the French attitude toward life that I so much admired, while growing up. How did that not rub off on me more? I mean, I was immersed in it. I think over the years, as I continued to pressure myself (trying to be perfect), I lost it along the way (if I ever had it).

Having the gorgeous garden now in my apartment, reminds me to stop and smell the flowers, more often. This year, will be a year of recapturing the French way, for me. It’s time to take a step back and recharge. I have to keep reminding myself. Baby steps. That’s the new official goal of the year, and each week I am going to challenge myself. (It’s the only way we grow).

I need to roll up my sleeves and cook, while saying some last prayers that Macron gets elected president. I am leaving you with the following quote that inspired me:

“Seventy-five years. That’s how much time you get, if you’re lucky. Seventy-five years. Seventy-five winters. Seventy-five springtimes. Seventy-five summers. And seventy-five autumns. When you look at it like that, it’s not a lot of time, is it? Don’t waste them. Get your head out of the rat race and forget about the superficial things that pre-occupy your existence and get back to what’s important now. Right now. This very second. And I’m not saying, drop everything and let the world come to a grinding halt. I’m saying that you could become a seeker. You could be loving more. You could be taking some chances. You could be living more. You could be spending more time with your family. You could be getting in touch with the part of you that lives instead of fears; the part of you that loves instead of hates; the part of you that recognizes the humanity in all of us. And I tell you, that’s where you’re fortunate.” Eddie Murphy, as ‘G’, in Holy Man

I want to be more of a seeker. I want to get in touch with the amazing things in me and not my fears. And I certainly want more than 75 years, which means I need to learn how to live them right.

[Image from Tumblr]

 

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