Reflections Before Bedtime #48

“I want everything—love, adventure, intimacy, work.” 

Virginia Woolf, from a letter to Leonard Woolf

By: Gabriela Yareliz

On the other side of the world, two of my friends are getting married, right now. They are both extraordinary people. It’s like they were made for each other.

This world is full of mismatched couples–so, it’s neat when you find a couple well-matched; two people that help each other grow.

Different things drive people to come together. Sometimes, it’s a lease that is about to expire; lust; economic dependence; a fear of loneliness; an erroneous sense of needing to be completed by another; duty…

Marriage is a big deal and an interesting thing to think about. As we grow older, we change, the things we look for change, and oftentimes, good things are found in surprising places. I also think that with age things get more complicated, but also, in other aspects they become a lot clearer.

It’s okay to remind yourself of what you deserve and to not settle for the randos out there who are constantly preying and harassing. There are plenty of men out there who can’t handle their own peers and decide to try to score with someone half their age. No, sir. And then, there are women who think that love is when he stops playing his video game to look at you for a split second. Do we seriously date men who play video games? Let’s not go down that road…

I get that companionship is important, but I don’t think it justifies weird, mismatched couples. What is most important, I think, is to be super happy with oneself first. Be alone; be pure; be you. Grow yourself.

I think all of us are capable of a good match if only we would be patient and not settle or excuse certain things. This isn’t about searching for an impossible perfection, it’s about seeking and holding out for a good relationship that is possible, mature and healthy.

Love is probably like that Fast and Furious 6 scene where Vin Diesel and Michelle Rodriguez race cars in London (where a young Rita Ora marks the beginning of the race).

Do your thing until you find someone ready and willing to drive full speed ahead in this crazy life with you.

Drive, drive, drive. Don’t stop for anyone who can’t keep up or drive stick shift. 

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