By: Gabriela Yareliz
Greetings! There was a fresh coat of snow on the city today. The sidewalks where the vendors set up were shoveled and sprayed down (less trash than usual, and no vomit on the streets). The non-vendor parts of the sidewalk were dangerously icy and silently waiting like a trap for any unassuming pedestrian. The trains were in disarray; I almost left my hip on a chunk of ice on Kenmare, except an angel kept me from falling because I was definitely sliding sideways into the busy street on a slab of something; it was quick and frantic. Then, during the last prayer at church, I started feeling sick–that feeling I get when I am about to vomit and/or faint. When I felt that feeling, I was clinging to the pew in front of me debating on whether I should push out of the way the young woman on the same pew, next to me, and rush to the restroom in case I was going to vomit, (so I would not do it in the church–no one wants to be remembered as the girl who vomited in church). As I reasoned this–my chest and throat kind of got tingly, suddenly I couldn’t hear anything going on around me, and after my sound gave out, everything blacked out. I was out. I blacked out.
I woke up (who knows how long I was out), and people were exiting the church. No one noticed me. I am assuming I missed the last hymn. I guess people thought I was being extra spiritual and praying long after the prayer had been over. When I got up off the floor from my “praying” session, I dusted myself off, and someone came and said hello to me. “Girl, you are tired?!” the person exclaimed. I was probably white as a toilet; I could feel the sweat running down my face. Clammy, dizzy and still regaining my sense of hearing. I smiled weakly and said I was a bit dizzy.
It was pretty comical and strange, all at once.
The thing is, it’s a bit ironic. I have been in intense prayer for like the whole year of 2015, and here I was unconscious during a prayer. Makes me think of something I need to add to my equation– the prayers will continue, but I need to rest in God’s arms and let Him carry me (and no, this does not involve being unconscious or dead). No more blackouts. Worry often acts as a blinder in our lives; it takes out the sound and sight. Life is too interesting, and I don’t want to miss a thing that is mine.
These are some thoughts and quotes I have identified with and loved, recently:
“God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform;
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm.
God is His own interpreter,
And He will make it plain.” William Cowper
“Love should be based on truth, and the truth shall set you free.” Tess
“…But I know for certain, that before I was humbled, I was like a stone lying in deep mire, and He that is mighty came and in His mercy raised me up, and indeed lifted me high up and placed me on top of the wall. And from there I ought to shout out in gratitude to the Lord for his great favours in this world and forever, that the mind of man cannot measure.” Saint Patrick, The Confession of Saint Patrick
“Love doesn’t hide, it stays and fights. It goes the distance. That is why God made love so strong, so it could carry you all the way home.” Monica
“Be vulnerable. Let yourself be deeply seen, love with your whole heart,
practice gratitude and joy…be able to say ‘I am thankful to feel this vulnerable
because it means I am alive.'” Brene Brown
“Why are we so quick to forget God? Who do we think we are?” Francis Chan
“If I could hear Christ praying for me, I would not fear a million enemies. Yet distance makes no difference. He is praying for me.” Robert Murray McCheyne
“Mustard seed faith is jam-packed with life and potential for growth. Maybe you don’t need more faith, you just need the faith you have to come alive.” Dr. Tony Evans
“God isn’t limited by factors of safety and logic. He wants us to have an experience without limits, based on His omnipotence and goodness.” Gabriela Yareliz