Proctors & Wallpaper

By: Gabriela Yareliz

Today was the dreaded corporate accounting exam in various law schools in the city, apparently. It is hilarious when you go into an exam nervous, because the proctors usually make the nerves evaporate in the 15 minutes of prep time prior to the exam. The proctors are hilarious– unintentionally, of course.

There is always one proctor who is dominant and gives orders to the other two proctors. He or she is usually the one that yells, “The time keeper is ME.” Then, there is often an angry proctor and a clueless proctor. The angry proctor tends to usually be infuriated with the clueless proctor within five minutes of prep time. Today, one of the proctors was yelling things at us (the dominant one, claiming his territory), while one was trying to pass things out but failing, and the other one was angry at the one passing things out inefficiently.

While the one proctor yelled at us and was rereading a part of the instructions because he couldn’t read them the right way the first time, I glanced around at all of the nervous students; everyone’s computer screen wallpapers showing a bit about who they are when they aren’t a nervous wreck waiting for the exam software to load.

Wallpaper personality and analysis:

The boy with the autumn leaves: He is a guy who seeks calm; he goes to his happy place when he looks at the bright orange trees.

The girl with the Cheetah: Loves animals, yet ironically is not a vegetarian. (We can all smell her burrito in class.)

The girl with the computer brand default wallpaper: She couldn’t care less. Her wallpaper is the online shopping site she frequents in class.

The boy with Martin Luther King Jr. marching: A future defense attorney superstar. He’ll probably go on to work for The Center for Constitutional Rights and be keynote speaker at their awesome radical lawyering conference.

The girl with the galaxy photo: She wanted to be an astronaut once, and now she is regretting her decision to go to law school as she waits for the accounting exam.

The girl whose wallpaper we cannot see because she Facetimes at inappropriate moments: Apparently, she can only speak (in mime fashion) to her family in China while in class. (She sits in the second row, center. Very undercover.)

The girl with the Prague wallpaper: She is a dreamer. This accounting exam is taking her places.

The girl with her family photo: Eternally homesick. (Oh wait! That is me.)

By the time the proctors finished passing out everything and giving each other dirty looks, the exam began. There is something liberating about an exam. A rare moment where I could completely focus on one thing and not have to obsessively check my school email that receives two emails per minute. It felt glorious; like Andrea Sachs throwing her phone in the fountain. Sometimes, binding yourself to one thing liberates you from another.

Thank you world for the end of the accounting unit; and thank you proctors for giving us some serious laughs today. Your lack of organization, strictness and hilarity made us all smile and fear you.

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