Here we are speeding toward the Times Square train station, which is a non-stop circus. Each corner curiously serves a different genre of music. I heard an old black man sing “Stand By Me,” better than the original (as I ran past him); a man singing and dancing salsa with an enviable energy, and then, another man dancing with a skeleton (I wish I was kidding).
The thing is, you never know what you will get with a train. Even after you get on (sure of your progress), it changes identity on a whim. I was on an N train that turned into a W despite the unchanged sticker on it— no announcement. (Poor tourists or non-English speakers— all of us submerged into an unwanted chaos, exchanging glances).
Today, I was waiting for the express train (headphones in— knowing I won’t miss announcements because there are none), and a man next to me looked up at the sign that displays arrival times.
“Twelve minutes and running local?” He asked in disbelief. An express doing everything an express train should never do. Our eyes connected, so I joined the conversation to not leave him talking to himself. I recounted my experience with the train with the identity crisis. He shook his head. “Thanks, MTA,” he said in frustration. We ended the powwow, and I went back to my coaching call that he had interrupted.
I looked at the MTA app which suggested an actual express train was one minute away. I prayed it was true. Sure enough, it pulled up. We both glanced at each other and gestured with our hands a “thank God” motion. We hopped into our respective cars, speeding toward Manhattan.
I listened to my coach in my headphones talk about how we tend to be codependent and try to control and manage each other’s emotions instead of worrying about our own. If only I could control the trains… I thought.
Thankfully, thanks to the timely express this AM, I don’t have to.
This is my photo of the dirty verizon truck and sign. Don’t be a copycat without credit!
I hope you enjoy my scrapbook vibe of a blog. There is so much here. I can’t wait to share. I have included some of my photos from my adventures throughout the apocalyptic month. It was a fun one!
The month started with an eclipse that brought all business to a (sanctioned) stop. People at work finally found a socially acceptable reason to stop working and not hide it. The eclipse. People busted out their paper glasses (which were probably repurposed 3-D glasses) and hoped to be in the “path of totality” (which sounds so fatal to me for some reason). I was distracted actually doing work, not watching the eclipse or tempting further blindness. I have way too many contacts at this prescription to be playing these games. Though I am pretty sure no one gets blind because almost everyone looks at it directly, and they are still with sight. (What they are doing with that sight is another question).
Following the planned eclipse was our NYC earthquake + aftershocks. This was more fun than the eclipse because everyone felt it, and there were no fake-dumb-money-grab glasses involved to experience it. (There was also the element of surprise!) I was in the middle of a call when it happened. About an hour later, we got the emergency alert on the phones. Ha. Never depend on those. For anything. It was too late and the instructions were flat out wrong (beyond questionable).
I was giddy when I took this. As I approached the chaos that was security, I saw one of my favorite writers through the window. I gasped.
You know what else rocked my world? Seeing Jordan B. Peterson. That was incredible. It was a gift. I wrote about the JBP talk here (if you missed it). I sat next to a much older man who shared with me that his wife was not happy he was there. She did not “approve” of Dr. Peterson. “At least I am not gambling, doing drugs or at a strip club. I am here because I want to be a better man, father and husband,” he told me. I nodded as he explained himself earnestly. I could see the sincerity in his eyes. “I am glad you made it, and I am glad I am here, too. This will be good, ” I assured the stranger.
Speaking of growth, it is a season of transition for me. I am adjusting to a new chapter in life. I am also adjusting to a career pivot. This also means I have had to create passwords and new systems. I ran into a security question drop down menu that was so wild, I took a photo. I literally don’t know the answer to 90% of these on a good day. God help me. Why is this so complicated?
Who has a favorite movie quote? I have like 40 favorite movies.
I read some incredible books this month. My favorite was Dilettante, by Dana Brown. Reading the book reminded me that I must eat at The Odeon. (There are so many good quotes this month. Some are from Dana Brown. Don’t sleep on the quotes below. They truly stayed with me and lingered throughout the month. So excited to share!) I am currently reading a book on the Kennedys that has left me shook. The chaos.
Aristotle Onassis’ first wife Tina slept with (and later married) her sister Eugenia’s husband, Stavros Niarchos (whose heir later dated Paris Hilton– me connecting the pieces in the book to the people I do know…).
Iconic. Image via Town and Country.
Onassis slept with both Jackie Kennedy (while she was still married to JFK) and her sister Lee Radziwill (he dated Lee before Jackie). Lee, not to be outdone, was sleeping with JFK while he was married to her sister Jackie. And JFK had his fun with Marilyn Monroe, and then passed her onto Bobby Kennedy who was with her the day she died (many questions about this…). What a disaster. It’s like a giant incestuous, murderous family. They don’t teach you this in history. Had I known this web in high school, I would have written a different essay for the JFK Profiles in Courage competition. Morality was truly just an illusion.
Another great book I read was Power Source, all about releasing emotions held in the pelvic floor. It was fascinating (and a must-read for men and women). I am sure there was a lot the Kennedys and Onassis clan could have “released” in that pelvic floor. (Collective exhale).
This month, when not reading, I attended the Greek Independence Day Parade and then my A and I went to Tiffany’s. It was so lovely. I saw the most gorgeous place settings that would make Mrs. Alice swoon.
I love a good ranunculus. This was a favorite of mine.
They had this fun area dedicated to my birthday twin, Audrey.
Speaking of birthdays– (those who know me, know I have theories on birthday months), this month and the next (known as Taurus season in new age circles or LA) holds several notable people’s birthdays. I would say those who have birthdays in these few weeks are a feisty bunch. There is my father, Kourtney Kardashian Barker, Ed Mylett, Penelope Cruz, Melania Trump, Candace Owens, Lilly Ghalichi, Garance Doré, Beth Kempton, Adele…
Speaking of Melania Trump, while at Tiffany’s, we saw Trump’s motorcade arrive. Fifth Avenue has been impossible due to his presence for the trial(s).
Sometimes, we can’t help inconveniencing folks. I, for one, ate breakfast on the train several times this month. I was that person. I didn’t care. My little matcha mornings wrecked me when I had caffeine.
One of my pilates platforms was up for renewal. When this happens, I decide whether to let it lapse and replace with something that will motivate me more or whether I have used the platform and it is working. I get bored easily with workouts, so to stay motivated, I need and keep variety.
This one platform was not my favorite, so I decided to let it lapse and not renew. I tried one platform for potential replacement (which I won’t name out of respect), and it was interesting. The form videos were cool (at-home workouts are always tricky when it comes to form), but the length and vibe were not it.
See, that’s the thing, there are so many factors– music, no music, audio, setting (is it a nice environment?), length, variety, challenges (I love challenges), is breath work included?, and general vibe. People have an energy to them. Some people make me anxious or they seem lost. Some are militant. Others seem relaxed or have humor. Melissa Wood Tepperberg is one I keep renewing because she is so sweet and love her vibe.
I know this will sound weird, but mentioning in case helpful– something else I look for in this fitness influencer age is how healthy are these peoples’ hormones? The founder and lead in my old platform I let lapse was constantly complaining of bad periods and hormonal acne and such. Her body was ripped (to her credit), but I feel pretty confident that the hardcore workouts were part of that disjointed hormone struggle. I have seen it before. How we move our body affects all of that. Trust your gut and your mind-body connection. I won’t lie that when I prioritized workouts from this platform, I had worse pain. This was also why I decided to let it lapse. The movement has to jibe with the body.
I canceled the app I was testing after the trial. Then, I decided to try a platform that is well-branded and British. It’s like the pilates pretty girl club (my words for it). Her energy is totally different. I like it so far. I think this will be the new workout platform with MWH. The lesson here is ‘Yes, you should be in the pilates pretty girl club. Don’t settle for some janky platform with bad lighting or a workout that will leave you and your hormones shaking for two weeks.’ Biohacking is about smarter not harder.
Life is too short for bad workouts. Also, life is too short to not have foamy drinks. I tried the Anima Mundi herbal powders this month. I mix them with a plant milk. They have been on my radar for a while, but after Melissa Wood went to The Alchemist’s Kitchen and raved about the happiness latte, I knew it was time to try the herbal mixes (clearly influenced). They are yummy. Also, today, I went and visited the kitchen. It was lovely.
My visit to the kitchen.
While I am not into the new agey aspect of some items in the shop, I do believe that herbs have healing properties and help us. It has been fun making yummy foamy drinks that calm and nourish. I will keep experimenting.
All the little bottles and potions.
All right. Let me end my month recap here. I hope you enjoy the favorites below. Thank you for sticking around and for loving learning, curiosity and growth alongside me. This month’s top post was Becoming Fascinating, which was my post about Henry Mercer. I loved writing and sharing this one, so I am delighted you all loved it just as much.
If you have more dirt on the Kennedys or Onassis clan, hit me up. Camelot never existed.
Me, currently.
Quotes
“Focus is how you knit the hours of the day together. With focus, the day becomes a beautiful tapestry. Without focus, you end up holding a bundle of loose string.” James Clear
“Without faith, I’m frantically trying to control what is not my business to control, and fix what is not in my power to fix… Without faith, I’m wasting time.” Marianne Williamson
“But the future does not have to resemble the past, no matter how many times it has before.” Vivek Ramaswamy
“There is another level with your name on it.” Unknown
“To imagine that something can be intellectual and sensual, pleasurable and painful, real and unreal, good and bad, masculine and feminine is too chaotic and disturbing for us.” Robert Greene on nuance (from Mastery)
“And maybe to deny evil is to be blind to our power, because we have the power to do good and evil. And when we deny that power, we justify our actions.” Erwin Raphael McManus
“If nothing saves us from death, may love at least save us from life.” Pablo Neruda
“The buying of more books than one can read is nothing less than the soul reaching towards infinity.” A. Edward Newton
“The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places, but still there is so much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps greater.” J.R.R. Tolkien
“Don’t let your situation define you. Overcome your situation and define yourself.” Jon Gordon
“I am invited to play life at a higher level– to be strong where I have been weak, to be healed where I have acted from my wounds, to give love where before I withheld it.” Marianne Williamson
“I am here for every hurt and heartbreak because I am here for every joy.” John Stamos
“Wonder is the very engine of life.” Erling Kagge
“In order to think, you have to risk being offensive.” Jordan B. Peterson
“Absence, the highest form of presence.” James Joyce
“Our skeptical, cynical attitudes can actually cut us off from so many interesting questions, and from reality itself.” Robert Greene
“Language, and writing… it’s what makes us human, for better or for worse. Stories and narratives, have a way of taking hold and not letting go. Which is why the truth is so important. But narratives take hold whether they are true or not. Journalism is our guardrail. It’s our story, the official record of humanity. When it’s called into question, attacked or practiced in bad faith, then the truth becomes subjective, and as a result, everything falls apart.” Dana Brown, Dilettante
“Don’t think about why you question, simply don’t stop questioning. Don’t worry about what you can’t answer, and don’t try to explain what you can’t know. Curiosity is its own reason. Aren’t you in awe when you contemplate the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure behind reality? And this is the miracle of the human mind– to use its constructions, concepts, and formulas as tools to explain what man sees, feels and touches. Try to comprehend a little more each day. Have holy curiosity.” Albert Einstein
“In life, one has a choice to take one of two paths: to wait for some special day or to celebrate each special day.” Rasheed Ogunlaru
“The only things guaranteed in life are birth and death, and everything in between should be a celebration. Honor your past, live in the present, and don’t be afraid of the future. And for f***’s sake, have fun along the way.” Dana Brown
“Good and evil both increase at compound interest. That is why the little decisions you and I make every day are of such infinite importance. The smallest good act today is the capture of a strategic point from which, a few months later, you may be able to go on to victories you never dreamed of. An apparently trivial indulgence in lust or anger today is the loss of a ridge or railway line or bridgehead from which the enemy may launch an attack otherwise impossible.” C.S. Lewis
“Hope is rarely rooted in reality. Hope is rooted in something that does not exist.” Erwin Raphael McManus
“The city may suffer in the short term, and be fundamentally changed, but will somehow be okay because it’s New York. And New York never turns its back on you. I can’t wait to see what these kids do with the place.” Dana Brown
“People can help you in many ways throughout life, but there are two things nobody can give you: curiosity and drive. They must be self-supplied.
If you are not interested and curious, all the information in the world can be at your fingertips, but it will be relatively useless. If you are not motivated and driven, whatever connections or opportunities are available to you will be rendered inert.
Now, you won’t feel curious and driven about every area of life, and that’s fine. But it really pays to find something that lights you up. This is one of the primary quests of life: to find the thing that ignites your curiosity and drive.
There are many recipes for success. There is no single way to win. But nearly all recipes include two ingredients: curiosity and drive.” James Clear
“The American experiment was always a test of whether a diverse group of people could govern themselves and be free, and many of us have decided the results are in and the answer is no. […] the decline of an empire is nothing to mourn. The decline of a nation is a different matter.” Vivek Ramaswamy
“You can only create beauty with hope.” Erwin Raphael McManus
“The way we breathe is the way we live. Breathe deep.” Power Source, pg. 107, Lauren Roxburgh
“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.” Ernest Hemingway
“You cannot wait for it to get quiet. Not in New York, nor anywhere else. You must create your own silence.” Erling Kagge
“Life really does begin at forty. Up until then, you are just doing research.” Carl Jung
“Instructions for living a life: Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it.” Mary Oliver
“If we want the world to get better… we have to stop asking if it is offensive and instead ask if it is true.” Andy Frisella
“A beautiful life is not stumbled upon, it is built. It is chosen. It is nurtured over the years. A beautiful life is made from the heart, not the head. It is not one we can rationalize our way into, it’s one that must be felt. A beautiful life is not one that is immediately comfortable, but one grown through the acknowledgement of what is worth being uncomfortable for. It is not one that is easy, it is one that is worth it.” Unknown
“No matter what’s happening in the world, have your tea, make your list, plan your food preparation, read to your children, wash the clothes, do something creative for everyone and be a light for your home.” Lydia Sherman
“Experience is not what happens to you, it’s how you interpret what happens to you.” Aldous Huxley
I am currently binging the Dr. John Delony Show. Here is a sample taste (some of the calls are wild…)
This compilation:
This interview (Tulsi is gold!)
This Ed Mylett Podcast:
A fun episode. Forever a fan of Elena and Lauryn:
People Who Intrigue Me
Bryony Deery
Aggie Lal
May is my month. I am so excited to start the new month and grow in so many ways. I’ll keep you all updated on the Kennedys (kidding, but sort of not).
“Isn’t the point of religion for us to access an aspect of ourself that is connected to a force that allows us to discern moral truths that enable us to live well, materially? To have relationships with one another that are guided by principles other than spite, vengeance and vendetta. And ultimately, the most powerful voices and the most powerful forces on our planet begin to be deployed to assuage and de-amplify violence rather than facilitate further violence.”
Russell Brand
Russell Brand announced on his Instagram that he was baptized this Sunday. He described the spiritual experience as “incredible and profound,” and he described the level of peace that he felt. It was so fascinating to hear him discuss the tranquility and transcendence he felt. He described it as “overwhelming.”
“Many aspects of it were very intimate and personal. The truth is this. As a person that has in the past taken many many substances and always been disappointed with the inability to deliver the kind of tranquility and peace and even transcendence that I’ve always felt I’ve been looking for, something occurred in the process of baptism that was incredible, overwhelming.”
I’ve been following Brand’s journey for years, and more recently his journey into Christianity. It has moved me. I was a fan even when he was in his post-junkie, celebrity phase. That movie he did with Jennifer Garner, Arthur, is iconic. (The only person who shares my beliefs about horses).
The thing that has drawn me to Brand, always, even when I disagreed with him, was always his sincerity in his seeking for truth (and his sense of humor). I have loved his journalist phase. His show brings out often-suppressed facts with his wit and sense of humor. He isn’t afraid to bluntly call out the hypocrisy of our leaders and governments and to ask questions. He exemplifies curiosity and rebellion toward the imposed status quo. I hope he never loses that.
Unlike what many think, I don’t think true religion domesticates us. Rather, I believe it makes us wild and truly free. It makes us courageous. It makes us bold and mission-driven.
I hope he stays on the edge, questioning ideas, norms and traditions, while being set free and transformed by a deeply personal God, who is Jesus.
It will be exciting to see how his voice continues to shape itself with each passing discovery. A transformation all we who choose this journey undergo with humility. No day is the same in a spiritual journey. The fact that he seeks truth so passionately has led him here. I am sure it will take him to places beyond his wildest thoughts, as it does for all of us.
I’m glad you have found His peace, Russell.
As he mentioned earlier– it is no longer him but a “force,” as he calls God, working through him.
I am reminded that truth is ready to reveal itself to anyone looking. May we all stay on the path seeking truth. There is nothing more important that this. It is a matter of life and death. There are exciting times ahead. So much crumbles, but there is still so much to be seen in the power of God. While some things submerge into chaos, other things will rise in the storm.
I love an iconoclast who submits only to a power and audience of one. Brand, welcome to the roller coaster. As Erwin McManus says– the idea that we are safe in the will of God is contrary to Scripture. No one is “safe”. God doesn’t operate on “safety.” Hold on tight, because we are all in for a wild ride. What a privilege to be alive in these times.
Let’s do this.
“Aslan is a lion- the Lion, the great Lion.”
“Ooh” said Susan. “I’d thought he was a man. Is he-quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion”…
“Safe?” said Mr Beaver …”Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”
Our coaching session on the human intrinsic of “progress” was incredible, and I wanted to share the beautiful thoughts I gathered from this session from the group and from Erwin McManus:
-Every human has a need for progress.
-“Make sure you have some area in your life where you are taking control of your progress, and you find it enriching and satisfying.”
-Even if it is just perceived progress– it elevates.
-“Hope is rarely rooted in reality. Hope is rooted in something that does not exist.”
My favorite thought:
When people have progress, they don’t feel disdain or hate for others. Instead, they feel abundance. When people hate the progress of others, it’s because they have become convinced that the progress of others somehow takes away from them.
-Don’t be held back by the failures of the past.
-You are designed for growth. Contentment is not being happy with what you have (or more people would be content). It’s about joy and contentment in who you are becoming and the world you are shaping.
-Focus on the person you are becoming.
-They can beat the belief out of you that progress is possible, but they can’t change the fact that you are designed for progress by God. That they can never remove from your soul.
-Being blocked from progress leads to trauma and depression.
We are designed and created for progress. Who are you becoming and where do you feel the satisfaction of your growth? If you aren’t sure, it is time to be intentional.
There we were. All of us in the moving train car. A small bullet of speed moving underground (much too slow). All of us like shards of glass soon to be dispersed into a million little directions, launched into our day. But before that, we are sharing space. We are avoiding eye contact and making our silent statements.
First, there is the older man with the striped button down shirt tucked under a black leather jacket. His jeans are youthfully tight (too tight). His hair is a mess. He looks familiar, like an old celebrity I should care about. He has a weighty camera around his neck. He has boots and red glasses. He stands for a bit and then gets a seat.
A tall leggy green-eyed young woman gets on the train. She has a baby pink satin bomber jacket with asian art on the back. Dragons or something. Her hair is high. Her mint green skirt is higher and so short. Our eyes are glued to her long legs as she leans against the poll. Her skirt has a dangerous slit that leads to God-knows-where. I am afraid that if she wobbles and falls over, it will be embarrassing for all of us. She finally wedges herself down onto the blue subway bench next to me. Her skirt so short, I am sure it’s her butt directly on the bench. She starts online shopping and looks at a Saint Laurent calfskin bag on Vestaire Collective. She is engrossed.
A young man against the doors is also looking at her legs with effort– or whatever he can see from his angle. He looks stiff, like he is clenching every muscle. His blue suit is new and still has the little thread on the back flap. He looks deeply uncomfortable. Like a twelve year old dressed like a salesman. He looks so stressed and almost sweaty, I look away and let him stare at the Saint Laurent girl next to me, unchecked.
Lastly, in walks a chic young woman. She has leopard print loafers, jeans with holes in them (but still chic) with a cropped cut. She has a leather jacket and a lime green bag. The bag is stunning and has a magnetic closure. It pops against her edgy but chic outfit. Her hair is pulled back revealing simple and understated gold earrings and an elegant hair clip. The bag is unlike anything I have ever seen. I finally find it later online. It’s a Wandler cross-body bag. (This only matters because I was proud I found it because I had no idea what brand it was). I tried taking photos of my Kindle to get a shot of her chic outfit in the background.
She won the game on the train. She was the most chic. She was the most interesting. There was something about her that made me want to try harder. She seemed creative. Inspired, almost. She was original. I guess we all were, except for the suit kid.
There we went– a random group of strangers staring at each other– all getting off at different stops and going in a million different directions. Silent statements made. Our messaging never truly turned off.
“You are not meant to be a house cat. You were meant to be bold, adventurous and to chase something. You were meant to be a lion. Stop sitting around living in safety, comfort and fear. Stop being a house cat. Be the lion you are and go after the life you want.”
Jon Gordon
I had the incredible gift of seeing Jordan B. Peterson (the great JBP), live this week. It was surreal. His tour for his new book, We Who Wrestle With God, is exciting. He does an insightful review of sacred stories and the things we can gather from them.
Moses at the burning bush reminds us that our interests call to us, fire = life and transformation, and what draws us is often not superficial or chosen by us but the divine is trying to send us a message through it and it chooses us. God’s calling on Moses (who says he can’t speak) teaches us that when God calls, he doesn’t care what you feel you can or can’t do or what is uncomfortable. It doesn’t matter if you are introvert or extrovert or have a disability. JBP mentioned God calls us each to do what He asked Moses to do: stand up to tyranny, speak truth, and lead people out of slavery.
There was the story of Job, and the reminder that God is not oblivious to the fact that life is so deeply unjust. But Job did it right, and shows us the injustices don’t excuse our bitterness or anger. Instead, Job said he had faith no matter what. He was rewarded for that.
JBP discussed the story of Cain and Abel, and how both brothers represent the choice we are all faced with– will we choose bitterness and a murderous spirit and want to do it our way, expecting God to come groveling saying he was wrong (as Cain did) or will we be Abel and humbly give the sacrifice that is required (accepted by God)? Cain offered God a second rate sacrifice in his arrogance and was jealous of his brother who was accepted for giving all. His anger consumed him, and he became murderous. The story of mankind doesn’t change. That was his choice. That is our choice. What choice will we make? Will we dare to sacrifice?
JBP discussed sacrifice as the mark of true maturity because it means work. It means envisioning a future. A society that rejects this is a society in decline, and they pay the ultimate price as Cain did. Everything falls apart.
The story that most impressed me was the one of Abraham. Scripture is a giant book of stories that revolve around sacrifice and also, adventure. God calls us each to adventure, he said. Abraham was a wealthy old man in his tent and God called him to leave it all and to embark on a journey with him. It was a journey filled with sacrifice. Sacrifice transforms us little by little.
God told Abraham the secret to life– if you go on this adventure with me, if you sacrifice and allow yourself to be transformed, you will be blessed, you will bless those around you and your offspring will bless the world. JBP highlights that God extends the same invitation to us– he asks us to embark on an adventure, to sacrifice to the point of transformation, which requires humility, and the result of that will be blessings for us, for those around us and our offspring with bless the world.
I know for a fact that the invitation to adventure is true. God extends a wild ride beyond imagination to all who listen and stop and walk slowly toward whatever burning bush appears to us.
How do we embark in an adventure? The answer is always the same, sacrifice. By doing hard things. I was listening to Tony Robbins the other day, and he broke down the recipe for changing your life:
Feed your mind and strengthen it every day. There are times where we wonder how to prepare our mind for something better, greater, unseen. The answer is intentionally feeding your mind with growth and inspiration. Meeting God every morning. Almost everything around us is a device or path for mindrot and anxiety. But intetionally feeding your mind with good and challenge is key to shaping it and establishing new habits.
Feed and strengthen your body. When we shape our body, we do hard things.
Find a role model that reminds you that the worst times don’t last forever. Someone of character and mental and physical strength.
Take massive action. At some point, Abraham had to pack his boring tent and move if he was going to follow God’s invitation.
Give more than you expect to receive. Wild generosity is the only way to live. Cain was stingy and offered God second-rate offering. God rejects this and the reason why is because it destroys us. Giving reminds us to embrace gratitude and faith, rather than the opposite.
If misery comes knocking, and it always does, shut the door. Find your burning bush and walk up to it as Moses did. Accept the invitation and do the hard thing. Pack your tent. The men who walked with God became His friends. Little shifts lead to big results.
As Jon Gordon says (and as Abraham did) it’s time to stop living like a house cat. You are not only called to adventure, you were created to walk with God on that adventure. Anything less will leave you like Cain, fleeing, bitter and alone. Be the lion. The God of angel armies calls your name. He asks for all.
My photo while at Fonthill. (Don’t steal my photos!)
By: Gabriela Yareliz
We got an unseasonably warm and sunny day at Fonthill Castle, Henry Mercer’s home and tile empire headquarters. The sun was dancing with the daffodils and revealing to us the clear nature of the stream below the castle terrace.
Who is Henry Chapman Mercer? That is a good question (I had no idea before). He is described as an “archeologist, artifact collector, tile-maker, and designer of three distinctive poured concrete structures: Fonthill, his home; the Moravian Pottery and Tile Works; and the Mercer Museum.” (Source) The Doylestown native was also an attorney. He came into his wealth through a wealthy aunt who set him up. I found his multi-hyphenate nature so fascinating. As I have mentioned before, the people who I find the most interesting are the ones who seem to have lived 40 lives in one. He is definitely someone who falls into that category.
What can I share about Mr. Mercer? He liked writing. People didn’t love his stories, but he didn’t care. (Loves it!) The welcome center has his book on display despite the fact that the tour guide called his stories “mediocre at best.” Personally, I would totally do that. Build my own museum and house and sell my own book. Ha. Brilliant.
I loved seeing his letters.
He had an interesting obsession with concrete. I loved his concrete desks and book shelves. The man loved a good book. He had many volumes on Criminal Trials in Scotland (intriguing), religious books (naturally), many Walt Whitman poetry books and other volumes on poetry (he is obviously sensitive and artistic), and volumes in a series called Naval Disasters (which I found most intriguing– where can I find these?).
He cataloged his tiles and belongings, writing numbers on them. He hung stuff wherever it pleased him. The shape of his archways, stairwells and windows were imperfect, but I appreciated his slap-it-on-there-with-intention-and-make-it-cute attitude. He placed tubs under skylights (I approve), and he destroyed some of his personal belongings while keeping others (a man of mystery! He did leave his diaries to the museum– I saw a librarian from the museum confirm this. I won’t tell you what rabbit hole I went down to discover that). He was a curious man. He liked inappropriate cartoons and also was obsessed with the part in the gospels of Jesus meeting the disciples at Emmaus (he had many different depictions of this walk with Jesus throughout his home, and it was this specific scene only).
My photo from inside his castle.
The man is most known for his tiles. He made tiles depicting “Bible, folk tales, Dickens’s Pickwick Papers, and Wagner operas” (source). They had a curious quote of his featured at the tile atelier where he said that if tiles couldn’t educate others he wouldn’t be making them. One thing I found interesting was that I don’t think tiles educate others. If you look at a story depicted and don’t have the context or knowledge of it beforehand, the picture means nothing to you. I think it is actually the inverse– only the educated can actually appreciate the detail and art in his tiles. Otherwise, it goes over your head. It’s like watching Frasier. We are a dumber society than we were before– many of the meanings in the tiles would be lost on most today. (Sadly!) We saw the biggest spider in the tile atelier! But I digress…
Just recently (today, literally, today), I completed Michael Easter’s ClearSpace app 2% challenge, where you limit screen time. Yep. Even on apps like Zillow. Who knew I opened Zillow so much? (It is a crushed-Millennial-dream haven and addiction. Looking on Zillow is like seeking the approval of a parent who hates you). The app gives you quotes and prompts to breathe or journal (I kid you not) as you try to open certain apps (and it times you). I heard about Michael Easter on a podcast (TSC Podcast: Michael Easter On How To Form Good Habits, Rewire Cravings, & Benefit From Discomfort In Your Life). I found him interesting. In the podcast and in his newsletter, he talked about how we have lost a sense of “boredom” and tolerance for discomfort, and it was this same boredom and discomfort that led people to be so intelligent and creative in the past.
How high is your boredom tolerance?
Every time I went to open Zillow, I kept thinking I could be reading Naval Disasters right now or memorizing a poem by Whitman. I think to enter the category of fascinating and intelligent, you have to be a person who embraces boredom, discomfort and slow, even in our current society. There is no escaping it. It is part of the equation. I think Mercer did it brilliantly. Not all of us have the rich aunt (or volumes of Naval Disasters), but what we do have is time and focus. We have a mind we can train. A discipline we can cultivate.
What we choose to do with that time, focus, mind and discipline is everything. When was the last time you took time to stop or engage with wonder?
“Wonder is the very engine of life.”
Erling Kagge
I am off. Off to draw or read a Mercer short story or just to look out the window and embrace the first sunshine of the week, here in NYC. Let’s be real, I will probably be searching Amazon for a volume of Naval Disasters or cataloging my most prized possessions (like Eddie). I encourage you to do the same.
“A radical new body of evidence shows that people are at their best– physically harder, mentally tougher, and spiritually sounder– after experiencing the same discomfort our early ancestors were exposed to every day.”
Here I am– a bit late. Late on many things. I literally have to do my taxes tonight. March was a month of overwhelming joy. There is sort of no other way to describe it. I was overwhelmed at work. Overwhelmed with gratitude in my personal life. I spent time with family and beautiful people who filled my heart so much it spilled over the brim. I was overwhelmed with opportunity and God’s soft leading to next steps and new chapters. I was overwhelmed with love and miracles and unexpected blessings. I guess March Madness isn’t always a bad thing.
It has taken me a minute to come down from the high and frenzy that was March. I have slowly settled into feeling more like myself and snapping into my routines (new and old) and the day-to-day.
But that’s the thing– God’s overwhelming goodness is there each day if we are ready to receive it. There is no stopping point. All that is needed is the awareness, humility and gratitude to receive it.
I hope God overwhelmed you with His goodness in March, and continues to do so in April. Spring. The timely reminder and relief that all is on time and new beginnings burst forth with beauty and color.
Quote
“We cannot selectively numb emotions.” Brene Brown (“If you numb sadness, you will also numb joy. If you numb pain, you will numb pleasure and ecstasy.” Aggie Lal)
“If you know something’s going to work, it’s not worth working on. It requires no courage. It requires no faith. It requires no skin in the game. Whether you’re a spy or a teacher or a spouse or a painter or an abuela or an astronaut or a monk or a barista or a board-game designer, the bits that matter are the bits you make matter by putting yourself on the line for them. The unknown is the foundry where you forge your chips. Everything important is uncertain. Sitting with the discomfort of that uncertainty is the hard part, the wedge that can move the world.” Eliot Peper
“Let hope guide. And joy surprise. See this new thing taking root in you.” Magnolia Magazine, Issue No. 30, Possibility, pg. 12
“When we reach the end of our days, our life experience will equal what we have paid attention to, whether by choice or default.” William James
“There’s no place for lies in art.” Barbra Steisand
“The culture validates the integrity of the vision.” Erwin Raphael McManus
“Resilience matters in success. I don’t know how to teach it to you except for, ‘I hope suffering happens to you’. I use the phrase ‘pain and suffering’ in our company with great glee. Greatness comes from character, and character is formed out of people who suffered. I wish upon you ample doses of pain & suffering.” Jensen Huang (Nvidia CEO)
“Growing into your power starts with taking risks.” Dr. Habib Sadeghi
“I’ve always believed that if you put in the work, the results will come. I don’t do things half-heartedly. Because I know if I do, then I can expect half-hearted results.” Michael Jordan
“Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” Gloria Steinem
“If you have a problem with me, text me. And if you don’t have my number, you don’t know me well enough to have a problem.” Christian Bale
“Being optimistic doesn’t mean you don’t experience negative thoughts. It just means that you don’t let them control you.” Ed Latimore
“He spoke to the winds and the waves because they were meant to listen, in the same way, he speaks to you.” Erwin McManus
“It’s a lot of hard work that goes into falling in love with your country again…” Jessica Kraus
“Lift others up. Go out of your way to make someone’s day better. The world does an amazing job of tearing people down. Be the part of the world that does the building up. It’s needed.” Unknown
“Learning is about becoming incompetent on our way to getting better. If you’re not open to the tension that is caused by knowing you could do better, it’s unlikely you’re willing to do the work to get better. As you’re doing that work, there’s the satisfaction it brings, but also the knowledge that just a moment ago, you weren’t any good.” Seth Godin
“Imagine what might come of a willingness to embrace what could be in addition to all that already is.” Joanna Gaines
“Some people get addicted to chain-smoking their problems. They spend all day going from sorrow to sorrow. It doesn’t have to be that way. You can live each day going from joy to joy—like a sunflower that turns to face the sun as it moves across the sky. It’s not about having a problem-free life, but about focusing on the light. Sunflowers still have shadows, but they are always behind them.” James Clear
“Being is an empty fiction. We must fill it up ourselves— we must invent, we must create.” Joyce Carol Oates
“And pressure, mon amour, is a privilege.” Aarti, The Duchess Academy
“You aren’t a victim, you just haven’t chosen a different identity yet.”
“When I believe in the possibility of miracles, I’m more likely to experience them.” Marianne Williamson
“Brave admiral, say but one good word; ‘What shall we do when hope is gone?’ The words leapt like a leaping sword: ‘Sail on! Sail on! Sail on! And on!’” As seen at Henry Mercer’s home
“Be a paradox. Build an empire. Have fun doing it. Train like a savage. Create like an artist. Dream in decades. Act in days. Lift. Run. Sweat. Learn. Build. Design. Ignore expectations. Because if you’re easily defined, you’re easily forgotten.” Zach Pogrob
“The ability to embrace uncertainty leads to ultimate freedom.” Unknown
“You don’t apologize to be forgiven, you apologize to repent. Forgiveness is a gift given from the other person.” The Chosen
“None of our leaders are punished for lying. Instead, regular people are punished for telling the truth.” Tucker Carlson
“Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.” William James
“Outliers are people who made their contradictions work for them.” @Anuatluru
“Let the empty tomb be a reminder we won’t find new life in dead places.” RaisedtoStay
“Every man is as close to God as he wants to be.” A.W. Tozer
February was a jam-packed month. We found this beautiful coffee place called Felix’s. I tried Spring Aspen Cafe and Jack’s Wife Freda (loved their salmon burger).
We spent a beautiful day out-of-state doing important things. It was incredibly memorable. I loved my flowers that I was gifted that day. We ate good food. It was a powerful reminder not just of love and its strength but also friendship.
My strange crop-top-wearing neighbor left suddenly. He vanished. Many of my mornings were construction and noise filled mornings. That has finally stopped.
There were spring days; there were deep winter days. We saw a great sporting event where our team won.
I also worked like an animal and had a lot more on my plate than is healthy. Time for a wind down and some time off. Also, new opportunities may be opening up in March (on the horizon, perhaps). More author excerpts and features have been confirmed for spring 2024 on Modern Witnesses (happy for that!).
February was a very grounded month. One of preparation for big changes and reflection. I cleaned a lot. Ready for spring and Easter. Just a few more corners to tackle. My best friend from high school had a baby, and my best friend from Jr. High is almost due. Suddenly, we are living the chapters that, before, we could only dream about.
I witnessed a financial miracle this month. I heard God speaking to me this month. I love when we see God’s fingerprints everywhere. They invite a certain peace, and they remind us He is always with us. Sort of like how scripture describes God’s presence with His people, “And the Lord was with Joseph…” (Gen. 39:2) I picture those words spoken over each one of us).
I was excited to be inspired by amazing speakers in the Becoming Unstoppable event with Jamie Kern Lima. My notes from this event also happened to be the top post of the month.
So much goodness awaits us. Buckle up. March is here.
Quotes
“If you listen to some of the loudest voices in American life right now, they seem to have more affection for tyrants and terrorists than democracy.” Oliver Wiseman
“Excellence is to do a common thing in an uncommon way.” Booker T. Washington
“This meeting could have been a fistfight.” @rebmasel
“I pray to be released from fear, that I might know true love.” Marianne Williamson
Intimacy means: into me you see
“You are morally obligated to do remarkable things.” Jordan B. Peterson
“Take time to reconnect with your Higher Self, remember who the f*** you are, and act accordingly.” Biohack Like a Woman, pg 108
“It’s hard to beat a person who never gives up.” Babe Ruth
“There is nothing worth doing that is not scary. There is no one who has achieved greatness without wrestling with their own doubts, anxieties, limitations and demons.” Ryan Holiday
“The people who shut down your businesses and killed your careers are now asking for you to re-elect them so they can keep their jobs.” Samuel Fisher
“Always remember, others may hate you, but those who hate you don’t win unless you hate them and then you destroy yourself.” Richard Nixon
“Guaranteed way to lose at everything: do the bare minimum.” Neel Dhingra
“There is no order of difficulty in miracles. One is not harder than another. With God, all things are possible.” Marianne Williamson
“When a woman becomes her own best friend, life is easier.” Diane Von Furstenburg
“It’s not the load that weighs you down, it’s how you carry it.” C.S. Lewis
“Stop comparing yourself to the world’s standard. The world is a dumpster fire that is looking to destroy you. Follow Jesus and eat some healthy food while you are at it.” Dr. Austin Lake
“Real love is not just a feeling… real love is a daily decision to show up better. Real love is demonstrated when we are honest with ourselves about how our behaviors and decisions impact our partner and then we choose to find better ways to show up.” Dr. Elizabeth Fedrick
“The world you see is just a movie in your mind. Rocks don’t see it. Bless and sit down. Forgive and forget. Practice kindness all day to everybody and you will realize you’re already in heaven now. That’s the story. That’s the message. Nobody understands it, nobody listens, they’re all running around like chickens with heads cut off. I will try to teach it but it will be in vain, s’why I’ll end up in a shack praying and being cool and singing by my woodstove making pancakes.” Jack Kerouac
“People avoid uncomfortable conversations to ‘keep the peace.’ But peace isn’t the goal of a relationship. Love is. And when we love someone, we have the hard conversations in service of that love.” Jillian Turecki
“In keeping silent about evil, in burying it so deep within us that no sign of it appears on the surface, we are implanting it, and it will rise up a thousand fold in the future. When we neither punish nor reproach evildoers, we are not simply protecting their trivial old age, we are thereby ripping the foundations of justice from beneath new generations.” Aleksandr I. Solzhenitsyn, The Gulag Archipelago 1918-1956
“She’s a 10/10, but she walks with God, so she’s really a 100/10.” Jamie Kern Lima
/like rain, I fall but like water, I flow like the sun, I’ll shine, everything takes time and I’ll be fine (again)/ dika agustin
“People who avoid their own feelings will neglect yours.” PHIL GOOD
“In the gym, the weight doesn’t get easier to lift; you get stronger. In life, events don’t get easier to handle; you become better equipped to handle them. Keep growing… Keep going.” Unknown
“Change is the right danger to choose.” Erwin Raphael McManus
“Don’t be afraid to change everything overnight. Book a flight. Sell your car. Shave your head. Wander through a new city with no phone, and no plan. Eat a five-star meal alone. Ask strangers how they’re doing. Follow a black cat down a dark alley. Wear something you’ve never worn. Act how you’ve never acted. Remove the programmed filter between idea and execution. Life becomes so much better when you realize, the script you’re living on, is made up. So pretend to be someone new, and eventually, you won’t have to pretend.” Zach Pogrob
“Surround yourself with humans who create their lives. People who change, more than they complain. Create, more than they consume. Live actively, instead of accepting life as is. Find people chasing down their potential. Sprint together.” Unknown
“If you’re scared of putting yourself out there, just know this: Millionaires won’t judge you for starting, broke people will. People with big brands won’t judge you for posting, anons with 7 followers will. Hate never comes from above. So who tf cares? Go for it.” Neel Dhingra
“Character becomes the measure of trustworthiness.” Erwin Raphael McManus
“One can have no smaller or greater mastery than mastery of oneself.” Leonardo Da Vinci
GABRIELA YARELIZ 